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Brand new different world… that has successfully pulled me in.
I’m drowning. Deeper and deeper.
Can I even go back? To a place I used to be.
Do I even want to go back? To the rocky mountain I bleed my feet.
This dark blue water feel so good that I wouldn’t mind it take my breath away.

I know I can’t stay long here. It slowly take my life. But it’s way too comfortable. Can’t I just stay here forever?

My wet wings can’t stand to fly anymore. They just want to stand still, not moving even a bit. Too afraid to swim back to the surface, as the air will surely hurt my lungs which have been filled with water.

I can see people I know from here, climbing the mountain without even a stretch on their face. How? I can never do that. I almost lost my limbs doing that. Or all of you are just using a persona to hide your wound, to show all the beauty you have. A purely fake smile. Just like what I did before?

I swim deeper to the darkening water. Let it devour myself in it’s peaceful lies.
I know I shouldn’t be here. I know I must have a gasp of fresh air to keep myself alive. But I also know, it’s not the fresh air I wish up there. I know it’s a poisonous gas disguising itself as the clean lovely air.

I don’t want to go up there.

31 May 2013 | Categories: Diary, Nothing | Leave a comment